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The possibility that her child may surpass her scholastically, in attractiveness, in popularity, in physical fitness, in athletic ability, etc., can be very threatening to a BPD/NPD mom. For example, a mom who sees her child’s success as a reflection of her worth and pushes her child to succeed to the point of abuse ().Sibling rivalry for one’s child can manifest in several ways. A BPD’s/NPD’s fear of abandonment may take the form of their children or one of their children.She may also try to impoverish you by using the courts to extort as much child and spousal support as possible.

Even if she doesn’t see a penny of it, she wants him to pay and keep paying.

For example, a former client’s ex is trying to block their eldest child from attending the best school in their area, which happens to be a free public school (grades are good enough and they won the lottery).

Instead, the ex wants to keep the child in an expensive private school. She manufactured some very lame reasons about it not being fair to their younger child if the older sibling is able to get a better education.

For example, your BPD/NPD wife “tattles” on the child and takes pleasure in watching you mete out punishment for misbehavior, a BPD/NPD sets up the child to get him/her into trouble, feeding the child a steady diet of fast food/junk food/processed foods to make the child fat so mom can seem skinnier and prettier in comparison (this is especially common with BPD/NPD mothers and daughters), having a scapegoat child and a “golden child” and pitting them against one another, becoming jealous when the child’s father (her ex) buys them new school clothes, takes them on vacation, to concerts and other special events and making anything that happens to child, good or bad, about her. A BPD/NPD parent often lacks empathy, is entitled, rejects personal responsibility for her behaviors, engages in bullying and intimidation, is dishonest, has the relative morality of a small child, has chaotic and extremely dysfunctional relationships, has no sense of fair play and is completely self-obsessed. This is a particularly insidious form of abuse and, in some ways, is the opposite of child parentification.

A parent who engages in infantilization is unable to tolerate her child’s developmental growth toward healthy independence.

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A BPD/NPD ex often equates the amount of money, child support and assets she can extort from you with her sense of worth.

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